Complaining is actually quite bad for you 

By Toby Moore

Ever since my dad died, I’ve had more problems than ever before. My responsibilities have easily tripled. I’m constantly working yet determined not to let all of these new responsibilities get in the way of my dreams.

I’m thankful I’ve had time to grow up before being faced with this situation. Not long ago, I wouldn’t have handled it well; I would’ve been bitter, jaded, angry, and constantly complaining.

I’ve learned that to go where I want to go in life, I cannot complain. If I want to accomplish my goals and achieve my dreams — I must leave no room for complaint.

How can I focus on the future if I’m focused on the past? How can I think thoughts of victory when I’m feeling the thoughts of anger, defeat, and victimhood? If I’m reliving a bad experience that happened last month, yesterday, or even just five minutes ago through the act of complaining, I’m reinforcing that experience and living in the past.

Every thought produces a chemical peptide in the brain that causes a feeling in the body. When I complain, I am bathing my inner self in a chemical cocktail of negativity.

Complaining seems very innocent. After all, you’re just expressing how you feel.

It’s a common belief that you have to vent your feelings because if you don’t let them out, then they will bottle up inside of you until you explode!

Scientific studies show that complaining isn’t an act of getting rid of the feeling; it’s not an act of venting at all. Instead, it reinforces a negative emotion and trains your brain to produce more bad feelings until all you can focus on is the negativity in every interaction.

I used to work in the service industry, and a lot of my income depended on tips. When I first started, I complained about almost every tip I received. I complained about customers that annoyed me; I complained about my managers; I complained about my co-workers; I complained about my schedule; I complained about my commute to work. It was a never-ending parade of complaints, and I was miserable.

Little did I know that I wasn’t unhappy because I received a bad tip or had a bad interaction with a customer, co-worker, or manager. I was miserable because I reinforced negative moments I experienced in the past, making those connections stronger in my brain. I was trapped, a prisoner of my thoughts.

Studies have also concluded that complaining is bad for your health.

When you complain, you’re damaging your brain. Complaining shrinks and damages part of your brain called the hippocampus. What does this mean? It means that complaining destroys your memory, imagination, creativity, decision-making, and much more!

When you complain, you’re increasing your levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Chronically high cortisol levels can lead to various health problems, including depression, digestive issues, sleeping disorders, higher blood pressure, and increased risk of heart disease; complaining shortens your lifespan.

Although it’s been a battle, I’ve rid myself of complaining more and more every year. Sometimes I still catch myself, and I have to retrain my thought process. It becomes easier the more you do it.

Whenever I catch myself complaining, I try to think thoughts like this, “I know complaining keeps me from moving forward. Losers complain; winners brush it off and keep moving forward. Thank you for allowing this experience to sharpen me and make me better; I know I will overcome.”

Rather than giving voice to the negativity of complaint, try voicing the positivity of gratitude. Try to speak words of encouragement, speak ill of nobody.

You are capable of handling every situation that comes your way. Every bad thing that happens to you doesn’t deserve the time it takes to complain. Focus on your dreams. Change your thoughts and your words, and you’ll begin to see miracles happen in your life.

Toby Moore is a columnist, star of the Emmy-nominated film “A Separate Peace,” and CEO of CubeStream Inc. He resides in Bourbonnais and can be reached through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com.

By Toby Moore

Ever since my dad died, I’ve had more problems than ever before. My responsibilities have easily tripled. I’m constantly working yet determined not to let all of these new responsibilities get in the way of my dreams.

I’m thankful I’ve had time to grow up before being faced with this situation. Not long ago, I wouldn’t have handled it well; I would’ve been bitter, jaded, angry, and constantly complaining.

I’ve learned that to go where I want to go in life, I cannot complain. If I want to accomplish my goals and achieve my dreams — I must leave no room for complaint.

How can I focus on the future if I’m focused on the past? How can I think thoughts of victory when I’m feeling the thoughts of anger, defeat, and victimhood? If I’m reliving a bad experience that happened last month, yesterday, or even just five minutes ago through the act of complaining, I’m reinforcing that experience and living in the past.

Every thought produces a chemical peptide in the brain that causes a feeling in the body. When I complain, I am bathing my inner self in a chemical cocktail of negativity.

Complaining seems very innocent. After all, you’re just expressing how you feel.

It’s a common belief that you have to vent your feelings because if you don’t let them out, then they will bottle up inside of you until you explode!

Scientific studies show that complaining isn’t an act of getting rid of the feeling; it’s not an act of venting at all. Instead, it reinforces a negative emotion and trains your brain to produce more bad feelings until all you can focus on is the negativity in every interaction.

I used to work in the service industry, and a lot of my income depended on tips. When I first started, I complained about almost every tip I received. I complained about customers that annoyed me; I complained about my managers; I complained about my co-workers; I complained about my schedule; I complained about my commute to work. It was a never-ending parade of complaints, and I was miserable.

Little did I know that I wasn’t unhappy because I received a bad tip or had a bad interaction with a customer, co-worker, or manager. I was miserable because I reinforced negative moments I experienced in the past, making those connections stronger in my brain. I was trapped, a prisoner of my thoughts.

Studies have also concluded that complaining is bad for your health.

When you complain, you’re damaging your brain. Complaining shrinks and damages part of your brain called the hippocampus. What does this mean? It means that complaining destroys your memory, imagination, creativity, decision-making, and much more!

When you complain, you’re increasing your levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Chronically high cortisol levels can lead to various health problems, including depression, digestive issues, sleeping disorders, higher blood pressure, and increased risk of heart disease; complaining shortens your lifespan.

Although it’s been a battle, I’ve rid myself of complaining more and more every year. Sometimes I still catch myself, and I have to retrain my thought process. It becomes easier the more you do it.

Whenever I catch myself complaining, I try to think thoughts like this, “I know complaining keeps me from moving forward. Losers complain; winners brush it off and keep moving forward. Thank you for allowing this experience to sharpen me and make me better; I know I will overcome.”

Rather than giving voice to the negativity of complaint, try voicing the positivity of gratitude. Try to speak words of encouragement, speak ill of nobody.

You are capable of handling every situation that comes your way. Every bad thing that happens to you doesn’t deserve the time it takes to complain. Focus on your dreams. Change your thoughts and your words, and you’ll begin to see miracles happen in your life.

Toby Moore is a columnist, star of the Emmy-nominated film “A Separate Peace,” and CEO of CubeStream Inc. He resides in Bourbonnais and can be reached through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com.

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