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Daily Journal
     May 19, 2021      #98-139 KDJ

Now that I am older 

By Dennis Marek

We all age, but at different speeds. Some of the people I know were old at 50 while others are twice as spry and outgoing at 80. As we age, we worry about things that seemed so insignificant a few years back. When we were in our 40s and met socially, no one spoke of their health, the medicines that they were now taking, or any upcoming surgeries. The question becomes whether we spend our golden years worrying about everything or enjoying what is left of our lives.

I was able to find several books and articles on the aging of my generation and the changes we have seen. Tell me you are not a bit taken aback with your cellphone, the internet and how business is conducted. If you haven’t learned how to purchase over the internet, what with the pandemic, items certainly were hard to come by. We will never see the world that we once knew as we grew up. Lassie is dead, dreams of Jeannie are long gone and the Lone Ranger rode off into the sunset with Tonto.

So many of our articles in the past year were based on the spread of COVID-19, the presidential election or the racial attacks in our country. We hope that the smarter citizens are getting a vaccine and not listening to podcasts based on pure fiction. The presidential race is over. It will not be recalled. And the problems of race relations will hover until the white supremists are quieted and fairness prevails. So let’s think about the more mundane worries we older folks have.

Don’t worry about your smartphone or smart TV spying on you. First, what we have, know and talk about would bore any spying party to tears, and second, our vacuum cleaners have been collecting dirt on us for years. Also, when you see kids entranced by their phones, you start to understand why they are referred to a “cell” phones. (As in a jail cell.)

When your memory of some simple fact escapes your brain, merely say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will believe you are bilingual instead of an idiot.

Look at errands as an outing. Be careful driving because you don’t want to be “going that extra mile” because you missed your exit.

Dieting becomes a daily word. Some of us had a goal of losing 10 pounds but now have 14 to go. When you buy that TV magic diet, don’t finish your 14-day supply of diet food in two days. Remember, a recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Senility is a very smooth transition, so smooth we don’t even notice it. Each day we learn something new and forget five other things. If a thief breaks into your house searching for money, get up and help him. Many things have been lost for a long time and we always need help.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected. It’s weird being the same age as old people. Just remember once you are over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Always having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on nice clothes and leave the house.

People my age climb mountains while others have a hard time putting one leg through their underwear without losing their balance. You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and try to get back up.

Never sing in the shower. Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember. Don’t sing.

I am at the age where my mind still thinks I am 25, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body parts mostly ask if I am sure that I am not dead yet.

So I hope the common ailments, thoughts, and discussions we have as senior adults do not depress. After all, our rock stars are all dead, so what else can we talk about? Certainly the pandemic has made life more challenging for many of us, but for the “elderly” who got their shots first, that is only one of the few benefits of our aging. That along with Social Security and Medicare. If we are no longer working, then we don’t have to worry if we can Zoom at the right time, learn how to do everything remotely or work in the confines of our bedroom.

So let’s close this discussion with some sage advice. As we age, we get heavier, but I have it on good authority it’s because there is a lot more information in our brains. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. I want to thank several sources for many of these quips. I am not smart enough to make them all up.

Go enjoy what we have left of life, even if we need to wear a mask.

Dennis Marek can be contacted through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com or through his personal email at dmarek@ambltd.com.

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